IC CONTACT for lostcarnival

[whattaprick]

✆CHANNEL FREQUENCY: 843.77425 (personal);
DESCRIPTION: Half the time he forgets this thing even exists, or how to turn it on and off.

✉MAIL BOX LOCATION: Next to trailer steps.
DESCRIPTION: The concept of a mailbox is rather foreign to Lambert, who's not exactly what you'd call big on personal correspondence. But there's a wooden crate you can probably drop shit into ???

BUG LAMBERT TO MAKE YOU SHIT: Given time and the right ingredients (which he'll usually ask people to provide) he can make potions (with potential side effects), oils, and bombs. You can bother him more about that in person.

Comments

[kingsroads]

[ Strange gives Lambert a wary little frown. He's not so sure about that suggestion and it shows. ]

I can already tell Childermass won't take kindly to me suggesting a binding agreement. It's all a little too Portland.

[ That doesn't mean Strange won't do it or that Strange is offended that this set-up is a little too Portland. Just that he expects there will be a LOT of pushback. ]

[whattaprick]

[ There is that. Lambert doesn't have a clear idea of how much being bound to Strange in such a way still rankles, but if even Strange is self-aware enough to recognize it would piss Childermass off, it must be bad enough that something happened. Lambert likes Strange, but he really doesn't seem like he has the awareness to pick up on that on his own. ]

Does the quill only work when you're making the contracts, or could anyone use it? [ He asks, curious. ]

[kingsroads]

And that anyone would be you? I thought you said you weren't a magician? [ For all of Lambert's grumbles that oooh, he doesn't do magic, he's not like Strange or Childermass, the fact remains that at least in Strange's mind, Lambert's more of a magician than he realizes. Ergo, gentle teasing. ]

You could certainly use it. But I think Childermass would just as well protest the binding contract itself. We'd have to either trick him into it or sweeten the pot in such a way that he can't help but agree.

[ so basically it's never gonna happen. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Unsurprisingly, Lambert scoffs. ]

Using something that's already magic isn't being a magician, it's just being practical.

[ Obviously, Strange. Gosh, learn the difference! In any case, he rolls his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, scowling. ]

Shouldn't be hard to trick him. He isn't exactly hard to enthrall himself. [ Why yes, he is contemplating mindwhammying Childermass for his own good! Even though they both know that Childermass in his right mind would hate them for it, it's at least comforting to bitch. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Strange knows that said mindwhammying will probably never happen (like, will 80% never happen) but it's fun to bitch and complain anyway. ]

I honestly don't know if the magic takes things like consent into account. We'll need to perform a few experiments before forcing Childermass into one.

[ after all, if they shoved Childermass into a mindwhammied contract and it turns out that the contract doesn't work if someone's mindwhammied....bit embarrassing. ]

[whattaprick]

Damn.

[ Well, he’s a witcher, not a lawyer. Lambert huffs softly. ]

So what actually happens if you break the contract? Or destroy a signed one?

[kingsroads]

[ .........yeah about that. ]

The quill didn't exactly come with an instruction manual.

[ he doesn't really have a clue. ]

I assume there's some sort of punishment or blowback if you break the contract, though I've no idea about the specifics.

[whattaprick]

You didn’t think this through, did you.

[ Witcher Lambert once again demonstrates his excellent powers of observation, ladies and gents. ]

[kingsroads]

Says the person who's asking all the questions after he signed the contract.

[ you didn't think this through either, bucko. ]

[whattaprick]

I trust you not to completely fuck us over on purpose.

[ Lambert answers simply, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on his stomach. ]

On accident, though... that might be a different story.

[kingsroads]

I'm not going to accidentally fuck us over, [ Strange grumbles, as he starts to sulk a little, sinking back into his chair. ]

Don't break the contract and we won't have to worry about what happens.

[whattaprick]

That goes for you too. [ Lambert retorts, closing his eyes. ]

With our luck, you’d end up using your own blood contract to curse yourself.

[ If anyone could do it, Strange could. ]

[kingsroads]

You'll notice that nobody else got any blood contract gifts for Solstice. [ at least, nobody that they know of. ]

The Ringmaster trusted me with this. Can't you do the same?

[whattaprick]

The Ringmaster trusted me with being the Nightrider and gave me a ring that lets me turn into anyone I’ve beaten in a fight. Her judgement’s not what I’d call reliable.

[kingsroads]

[ So that's the qualifications for the ring? Strange pauses, mulls things over, thinks for a moment... ]

In that case, we're never getting into a fight. [ nope! not gonna give Lambert the OPPORTUNITY to shapeshift into Strange, never gonna happen. ] And of course she trusted you with being the Nightrider. You're surprisingly good at it.

[whattaprick]

[ Yeah well let’s leave the matter of the ringmaster’s trust aside and go straight to shitposting. ]

Oh, it’s too late for that.

[ What’s that strangely much whinier outside his own head voice? Why, it’s Strange, of course. Or a Strange, at any rate. Hair a bit shorter than it is now and he looks ... sort of gross, actually. Dusty and faintly sticky, like he’s just gone a few rounds with Lambert in knife practice. ]

[kingsroads]

[ This is awful. Strange gives Lambert (gives himself?) an expression that easily radiates 'why are you like this.' ]

I can spot the obvious problem right away: when am I ever that sweaty?

[ next to never, your disguise is SHIT, witcher ]

[whattaprick]

[ The response is prompt and brutal. ]

When you're high, when you're drunk, when I'm kicking your ass.

[kingsroads]

I'm a mopey drunk, not a sweaty drunk. And turn back to normal before I make you do so.

[ Would Strange's dispelling kiss magic work against Lambert's magic ring? Who knows, but Strange is certainly gonna try if this nonsense keeps up. ]