IC CONTACT for lostcarnival

[whattaprick]

✆CHANNEL FREQUENCY: 843.77425 (personal);
DESCRIPTION: Half the time he forgets this thing even exists, or how to turn it on and off.

✉MAIL BOX LOCATION: Next to trailer steps.
DESCRIPTION: The concept of a mailbox is rather foreign to Lambert, who's not exactly what you'd call big on personal correspondence. But there's a wooden crate you can probably drop shit into ???

BUG LAMBERT TO MAKE YOU SHIT: Given time and the right ingredients (which he'll usually ask people to provide) he can make potions (with potential side effects), oils, and bombs. You can bother him more about that in person.

Comments

[kingsroads]

[ Strange rolls his eyes for a moment. Then, slightly jokingly, he elbows Lambert in the shoulder. ]

You jerk.

[ That shithead grin is matched with a small one of Strange's own. Whatever that ring is, Strange already knows Lambert's going to use it to get in SO MUCH TROUBLE. ]

[whattaprick]

[ He sure fucking is, though he hasn't had a chance to use it much. Lambert grins, waving a hand back at the contract. ]

Well? Get writing.

[kingsroads]

[ And so he does. Strange hops up from the couch to walk back over to the side table. He hems and haws for a moment before scribbling a sentence down. ]

Here, [ and he passes the contract to Lambert, ] What do you think?

[ The contract reads in full:

I, Jonathan Strange, will tell Lambert that I am a total idiot for thinking he would ever sign a blood contract and I promise not to try and make him sign any other ones again.

I, Lambert, will take a second or two to pause and consider my choices before embarking on an action with a seemingly inevitable chance of getting enthralled, injured in a major fashion, kidnapped, possessed, or incapacitated in any way that would severely debilitate myself or the carnival.

It's not the best contract. Strange can already spot three or so places where there's some wiggle room. But, then again, Lambert's not giving him something super strict as well. There's a spot down at the bottom for both of them to sign. ]

[whattaprick]

Hm. Seems to me like you ought to be the one making some of these promises yourself. I'm not the one who's gotten himself cursed or enthralled before.

[ Like, he's just saying, Strange! ]

[kingsroads]

You were turned into an animal at the Hunt, how is that not being enthralled?

[ this is splitting hairs and Strange knows it. ]

Besides, if you want me to write in a caveat about pausing and thinking, I'm going to have to write in something else for you to do.

[whattaprick]

What? How is that fair? I'm already signing this contract to begin with. [ Lambert protests, but mildly. He's tired, it's plain enough to see, and while this stupid conversation is clearly making him feel at least slightly better, he also definitely looks even less like someone up to strenuous brain activity right now. ]

[kingsroads]

Because you're making me do two things in comparison to your one! I've got to not make you sign any more blood contracts and think things through before acting? That's hardly fair.

[ which is again, splitting hairs. Strange pauses for a moment, before scribbling something down. A moment or so later, he shows Lambert the yet again revised contract. The first part's still there but there's a few additions.

I, Jonathan Strange, will take a second or two to pause and consider my choices before embarking on an action with a seemingly inevitable chance of getting enthralled, injured in a major fashion, kidnapped, possessed, or incapacitated in any way that would severely debilitate myself or the carnival.

I, Lambert, will tell Strange that even though I personally don't like blood contracts, they have their uses.. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Hm. Lambert still isn't all that fond of the wording in the first place, but at least that makes him and Strange bound by the same terms, of which he's definitely certain Strange has already figured out ways to wiggle out of. ]

Good enough, I suppose. You sign first, it's your contract.

[kingsroads]

[ Strange has definitely figured ways to wiggle out of it. ]

If you make any additions in between both of us signing, it makes the contract null and void, [ Strange points out. But, he signs the contract in his large and kind of sloppy cursive, before offering the contract and the quill itself to Lambert. ]

[whattaprick]

[ In contrast, Lambert basically just prints his name in the same blocky, neat writing he uses for writing everything. Surprise, when you don't have to sign things a lot, you don't really have much of a signature. It's a stark contrast in personalities on the same page. ]

So what now?

[kingsroads]

[ The moment Lambert signs, there's an odd feeling in the back of his head: a sign that the contract's been signed and the magic's taking effect. Strange has that feeling as well but, as he knows what it feels like, he doesn't give any sign of recognition. ]

Now we don't have to do anything. The contract's written, the magic's set. The binding agreement can be broken with consent of both parties—or, I suppose, the death of the enchanter, which in this case is myself. I suspect with ours, we won't feel the compulsion to stop and think things over unless the situation we're in fits the qualities given.

[ As he talks, there's an odd expression on Strange's face. It's the same sort of expression that people get when trying to resist Lambert's Axii compulsion. After Strange finishes speaking, the expression lasts for another second before he starts speaking again. ]

And I'm a total idiot for thinking you would ever sign a blood contract in the first place.

[ there we go! That's one part of the requirement out of the way! ]

[whattaprick]

[ No, it doesn't feel any different, but his medallion hums a bit, which is proof enough that something happened.

Lambert gives Strange a bit of an askance look as he struggles with the compulsion ... a compulsion Lambert's feeling, too, but the nice thing about having mental resistances is that he can hold it off a little longer. Certainly long enough to smirk at Strange. ]

Glad to hear it.

[kingsroads]

[ ...that's it? No, that's no it, Lambert signed something that said he'd admit to the usefulness of blood contracts. And honestly, Strange isn't moving until he hears those words. ]

Well, go on, [ Strange remarks. Taking the original contract, he rolls it up and slips it in his coat pocket. ] I'm waiting.

[whattaprick]

[ And the thing is, Lambert could. It's not particularly difficult right now to push against it, the compulsion, but it's still distracting, and saying it right now would save him a world of trouble and Strange's bitching later.

Then again, Lambert's never been one to go the easy route when he can just annoy someone instead. His grin only grows wider. ]

The contract never said when I had to tell you that. [ He points out. As soon as he does -- and he's not sure if it's just his imagination or not -- the spell feels like it shifts, subtly. Still present, but certainly less pressing. Lambert relaxes against the couch, shutting his eyes. ]

So you can keep on waiting.

[kingsroads]

[ Well shit, he's not wrong. Strange's expression shifts slightly from the frown to something a bit more relaxed. It can't be helped, Lambert's right. He'll just comfort himself with the fact that it's going to happen eventually. Strange gives Lambert a little nod, an acknowledgment of 'got me there.' ]

The next contract we make, I'll be more specific.

[ he says, knowing damn well that the likelihood he can convince Lambert to sign another blood contract is slim to none. ]

[whattaprick]

Promised you wouldn't try to make me sign any more blood contracts, remember? [ Lambert says lazily, snickering, though he sobers quickly. ]

You'd better make sure Childermass signs one of those when we get him back.

[ When, not if, because Lambert refuses to accept an alternate possibility. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Strange gives Lambert a wary little frown. He's not so sure about that suggestion and it shows. ]

I can already tell Childermass won't take kindly to me suggesting a binding agreement. It's all a little too Portland.

[ That doesn't mean Strange won't do it or that Strange is offended that this set-up is a little too Portland. Just that he expects there will be a LOT of pushback. ]

[whattaprick]

[ There is that. Lambert doesn't have a clear idea of how much being bound to Strange in such a way still rankles, but if even Strange is self-aware enough to recognize it would piss Childermass off, it must be bad enough that something happened. Lambert likes Strange, but he really doesn't seem like he has the awareness to pick up on that on his own. ]

Does the quill only work when you're making the contracts, or could anyone use it? [ He asks, curious. ]

[kingsroads]

And that anyone would be you? I thought you said you weren't a magician? [ For all of Lambert's grumbles that oooh, he doesn't do magic, he's not like Strange or Childermass, the fact remains that at least in Strange's mind, Lambert's more of a magician than he realizes. Ergo, gentle teasing. ]

You could certainly use it. But I think Childermass would just as well protest the binding contract itself. We'd have to either trick him into it or sweeten the pot in such a way that he can't help but agree.

[ so basically it's never gonna happen. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Unsurprisingly, Lambert scoffs. ]

Using something that's already magic isn't being a magician, it's just being practical.

[ Obviously, Strange. Gosh, learn the difference! In any case, he rolls his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, scowling. ]

Shouldn't be hard to trick him. He isn't exactly hard to enthrall himself. [ Why yes, he is contemplating mindwhammying Childermass for his own good! Even though they both know that Childermass in his right mind would hate them for it, it's at least comforting to bitch. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Strange knows that said mindwhammying will probably never happen (like, will 80% never happen) but it's fun to bitch and complain anyway. ]

I honestly don't know if the magic takes things like consent into account. We'll need to perform a few experiments before forcing Childermass into one.

[ after all, if they shoved Childermass into a mindwhammied contract and it turns out that the contract doesn't work if someone's mindwhammied....bit embarrassing. ]

[whattaprick]

Damn.

[ Well, he’s a witcher, not a lawyer. Lambert huffs softly. ]

So what actually happens if you break the contract? Or destroy a signed one?

[kingsroads]

[ .........yeah about that. ]

The quill didn't exactly come with an instruction manual.

[ he doesn't really have a clue. ]

I assume there's some sort of punishment or blowback if you break the contract, though I've no idea about the specifics.

[whattaprick]

You didn’t think this through, did you.

[ Witcher Lambert once again demonstrates his excellent powers of observation, ladies and gents. ]

[kingsroads]

Says the person who's asking all the questions after he signed the contract.

[ you didn't think this through either, bucko. ]