IC CONTACT for lostcarnival

[whattaprick]

✆CHANNEL FREQUENCY: 843.77425 (personal);
DESCRIPTION: Half the time he forgets this thing even exists, or how to turn it on and off.

✉MAIL BOX LOCATION: Next to trailer steps.
DESCRIPTION: The concept of a mailbox is rather foreign to Lambert, who's not exactly what you'd call big on personal correspondence. But there's a wooden crate you can probably drop shit into ???

BUG LAMBERT TO MAKE YOU SHIT: Given time and the right ingredients (which he'll usually ask people to provide) he can make potions (with potential side effects), oils, and bombs. You can bother him more about that in person.

Comments

[whattaprick]

Like what? [ Lambert huffs. ] You mean my job?

[kingsroads]

It's my job as well. And yet I'm not in the medical tent every other week.

[whattaprick]

Well, yeah. You don't get into fights all that much. [ Lambert continues to look plaintively confused about the problem here. ]

Look, it's not like I go out there planning to get hurt. It's just a risk that comes with it.

[kingsroads]

[ Whereas Strange is just boggling at the fact that Lambert doesn't seem to understand what the problem is to begin with. ]

You take too many risks in the first place. That business with the Prince, attacking Nightshade, getting stabbed. Do you even think before rushing off into things?

[ Strange is a big ol'hypocrite who hasn't realized that he's being a big ol'hypocrite. ]

[whattaprick]

Of course I do. [ Says the guy who almost never thinks before rushing into things. ]

There's nothing wrong with a little improvisation. [ Okay, in this case, it's more like ... a lot of improvisation, but details! Speaking of which, though... ]

Besides, it's not like I was expecting any of those things. Or for Childermass to suddenly turn into a crow monster.

[kingsroads]

[ And then Strange's thought process streaks to a halt because what. ]

I'm sorry, giant crow monster?

[whattaprick]

Giant crow monster.

[ Lambert confirms. ]

It didn't feel like the Void's magic, either, so he must have learned how to do that himself ... sometime.

[ He makes a face, likely estimating their chances of getting an answer out of Childermass about that even when he isn't brainwashed. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Strange just stares for a moment, looking blankly at the other man. ]

I'm starting to think I'm the only person who tells people when I can do a new trick.

[ he can't help but complain. Seriously, first Lambert being a dragon and now Childermass being a giant crow monster, what the heck? ]

Can I have my quill back, by the way?

[whattaprick]

That's because you like showing off. And you didn't tell me about this.

[ Probably because Childermass and him were holding out on their own gifts. He brandishes the quill at Strange, but hands it back over, flopping back on the couch and shuffling over just enough for the magician to plop down beside him if he wants to. ]

[kingsroads]

Though considering I still don't know what your gift is, I'm one up above you.

[ Definitely because Childermass and Lambert were holding out on their own gifts. Taking the quill back, Strange holds it between his fingers before flopping down on the couch next to Lambert. ]

I'll sign that, by the way, [ Strange points out, nodding at Lambert's shoddily written contract. ] Just let me write in a caveat that you'll actually stop and think about things for a second or two before you do anything rash.

[whattaprick]

Sure, I'll sign it.

[ After he's had a good read over to make sure Strange isn't trying to bone him, anyway. As for the other part of his question, though... rather than say anything, one minute it's Lambert on the couch, the next ... Sans is sitting there in the exact same pose, wearing the neat uniform he'd had in the manor. ]

Better check the wording on that twice, buddy. [ Even the voice that rolls out of his throat is a pitch-perfect match for Sans, and multiple eyes wink at Strange. ] We are in a faerie carnival.

[kingsroads]

[ And then Strange starts so hard he almost falls off the couch. ]

What the hell is causing that?

[ Because it's obviously got to be some sort of trinket or gizmo or something like that which is causing Lambert to look like Sans. ]

[whattaprick]

The Ringmaster's present. Duh.

[ And in the next heartbeat, it's Lambert again, lounging on the couch with a lazy satisfaction and a wide grin to rival Sans'. Now that's the most satisfying thing he's seen all evening. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Strange rolls his eyes for a moment. Then, slightly jokingly, he elbows Lambert in the shoulder. ]

You jerk.

[ That shithead grin is matched with a small one of Strange's own. Whatever that ring is, Strange already knows Lambert's going to use it to get in SO MUCH TROUBLE. ]

[whattaprick]

[ He sure fucking is, though he hasn't had a chance to use it much. Lambert grins, waving a hand back at the contract. ]

Well? Get writing.

[kingsroads]

[ And so he does. Strange hops up from the couch to walk back over to the side table. He hems and haws for a moment before scribbling a sentence down. ]

Here, [ and he passes the contract to Lambert, ] What do you think?

[ The contract reads in full:

I, Jonathan Strange, will tell Lambert that I am a total idiot for thinking he would ever sign a blood contract and I promise not to try and make him sign any other ones again.

I, Lambert, will take a second or two to pause and consider my choices before embarking on an action with a seemingly inevitable chance of getting enthralled, injured in a major fashion, kidnapped, possessed, or incapacitated in any way that would severely debilitate myself or the carnival.

It's not the best contract. Strange can already spot three or so places where there's some wiggle room. But, then again, Lambert's not giving him something super strict as well. There's a spot down at the bottom for both of them to sign. ]

[whattaprick]

Hm. Seems to me like you ought to be the one making some of these promises yourself. I'm not the one who's gotten himself cursed or enthralled before.

[ Like, he's just saying, Strange! ]

[kingsroads]

You were turned into an animal at the Hunt, how is that not being enthralled?

[ this is splitting hairs and Strange knows it. ]

Besides, if you want me to write in a caveat about pausing and thinking, I'm going to have to write in something else for you to do.

[whattaprick]

What? How is that fair? I'm already signing this contract to begin with. [ Lambert protests, but mildly. He's tired, it's plain enough to see, and while this stupid conversation is clearly making him feel at least slightly better, he also definitely looks even less like someone up to strenuous brain activity right now. ]

[kingsroads]

Because you're making me do two things in comparison to your one! I've got to not make you sign any more blood contracts and think things through before acting? That's hardly fair.

[ which is again, splitting hairs. Strange pauses for a moment, before scribbling something down. A moment or so later, he shows Lambert the yet again revised contract. The first part's still there but there's a few additions.

I, Jonathan Strange, will take a second or two to pause and consider my choices before embarking on an action with a seemingly inevitable chance of getting enthralled, injured in a major fashion, kidnapped, possessed, or incapacitated in any way that would severely debilitate myself or the carnival.

I, Lambert, will tell Strange that even though I personally don't like blood contracts, they have their uses.. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Hm. Lambert still isn't all that fond of the wording in the first place, but at least that makes him and Strange bound by the same terms, of which he's definitely certain Strange has already figured out ways to wiggle out of. ]

Good enough, I suppose. You sign first, it's your contract.

[kingsroads]

[ Strange has definitely figured ways to wiggle out of it. ]

If you make any additions in between both of us signing, it makes the contract null and void, [ Strange points out. But, he signs the contract in his large and kind of sloppy cursive, before offering the contract and the quill itself to Lambert. ]

[whattaprick]

[ In contrast, Lambert basically just prints his name in the same blocky, neat writing he uses for writing everything. Surprise, when you don't have to sign things a lot, you don't really have much of a signature. It's a stark contrast in personalities on the same page. ]

So what now?

[kingsroads]

[ The moment Lambert signs, there's an odd feeling in the back of his head: a sign that the contract's been signed and the magic's taking effect. Strange has that feeling as well but, as he knows what it feels like, he doesn't give any sign of recognition. ]

Now we don't have to do anything. The contract's written, the magic's set. The binding agreement can be broken with consent of both parties—or, I suppose, the death of the enchanter, which in this case is myself. I suspect with ours, we won't feel the compulsion to stop and think things over unless the situation we're in fits the qualities given.

[ As he talks, there's an odd expression on Strange's face. It's the same sort of expression that people get when trying to resist Lambert's Axii compulsion. After Strange finishes speaking, the expression lasts for another second before he starts speaking again. ]

And I'm a total idiot for thinking you would ever sign a blood contract in the first place.

[ there we go! That's one part of the requirement out of the way! ]

[whattaprick]

[ No, it doesn't feel any different, but his medallion hums a bit, which is proof enough that something happened.

Lambert gives Strange a bit of an askance look as he struggles with the compulsion ... a compulsion Lambert's feeling, too, but the nice thing about having mental resistances is that he can hold it off a little longer. Certainly long enough to smirk at Strange. ]

Glad to hear it.